Why Tongue E

What joy is Waitangi day! Pronounced as the title suggests, I had no idea the day existed until last night. Basically the day celebrates the date that the Pohms and the Maoris decided to stop killing each other. Apparently this day in New Zealand is a day when people of all cultures are out and about and in the mood for racial harmony and of course excess consumption of fire water.


What a glorious notion that shits all over Australia Day (or Invasion Day as some refer to it) it is. I enjoyed this particular commemorative day with my neighbour and his friend over a few Steinlargers, then shots of JD, then some particularly strong Fijian rum that has been fermenting in my liquor cabinet over a couple of years. As the two gentlemen I was imbibing with were of Maori extraction I was treated to a couple of Haka's which was fair dinkum amazing (not sure what the other neighbours in our row of units would have thought as the 200KG of Maori stomped the floors into submission, shook the walls and screamed the house down). What a shame white folk such as myself don't have any of our tribal rites still in vogue (I will make a mental note to learn to play an Irish jig on the fiddle but this is hardly as awe inspiring as a native antipodean tribal war cry delivered by two massive men of that extraction).
What I also discovered was that Waitangi Day seems to also involve random tackling, light contact sparring and throwing darts at each other. Yes that's right - throwing darts at each other. It started as a regulation game of darts in which we aimed at the dartboard but (as I'm sure everyone has felt at one time or another during their life) it really was only a prelude before we all had a turn at throwing darts at one another (WTF?). Not sure exactly how I got involved in standing unflinchingly in front of a dart board with only sunglasses for protection while a genuine dart wass pitched at me, but hey I guess that's what Waitangi Day is all about. Oh yes and light contact sparring. Now the definition of light contact can become somewhat of a grey area particularly when liquor is involved. It can also become something of a subjective notion when you consider that two former Rugby Union playing Maori front rowers consider "light" somewhat heavier than the average 76KG white boy such as myself - but 'twas all in good fun and they were able to moderate their fisticuffs to accomodate my wussiness.

Anyway I am now at work trying to see through the day while instituiting the theory that intravenous coffee infusions are a perfectly acceptable form of activity. A happy Waitangi Day to all the races. As a footnote can someone please stop the flash backs I am having as to the taste of the hard liquor I was drinking last night (they are appearing at random intervals like the ghost pain of a severd limb and making me groan audibly).

Thought for Today
"What joy for the leaders that men don't think" Adolf Hitler


Let's think before we vote next time people.