Petty Paroxysms re Paradoxes

My goodness, my incredulousness know no bounds. How can we lose a cricket series to England over here? Weren't they bad again? We lost both the first and second finals to a bunch of in bred, cricketly illiterate, noodle armed pie chuckers!

Which brings me to the crux of today's pointless paroxysm (known as a rant on other sites but I recently read Wuthering Heights so I'm full of now abandoned Middle English* such as "paroxysm") is how do you have a first and second final. If something comes first then reasonably enough, it was first. If something is the final then it is the last. Still with me? How then can you put the two together? First final. It's like saying promiscuous virgin. I'd accept first and final, but to say first final is quite an oxymoron I would suggest. Then second final; WTF? How can something be the second final? If the second final is indeed the last game then that is the final isn't it? The thing before it cannot have been the final, I've already established the ridiculousness of a first final. So having something following this bogus notion of a first final, called a second final is even more ludicrous (snobbish Oxford University chorlte as I repack my pipe with tobacco).

Of course I am living in Australia and such duplicitous** terms cannot be unexpected. This is the country that bandies about phrases just as paradoxical as first and second finals. For instance our sportsman in particluar love nothing more than anwering a question with "yeah-nah" (and in this your humble narrator is not without guilt). Further terms spring to mind immediately: clean coal, equal pay, indigenous health. The list goes on.

I don't know why I'm surprised, this is the country that has a population so paranoid about newly arrived immigrants that they lock them all up regardless of age. Meanwhile this population is descended from immigrants themselves and are allowing their native population to decline toward oblivion.

We have cricket fans who love nothing more than to defeat the English cricket team yet have no hesitation draping themselves in a flag dominated by the Union Jack.

Oh we are a duplicitous** bunch. Perhaps the confusion is why Australia in fact lost the cricket. The team was waiting for the final final.

*i.e. full of verbose hot air
**How I love the word duplicitous - and I didn't even get it out of Wuthering Heights.