Goodness

Was listening to the radio this morning and was informed by a cheery young mother sounding type that Weet Bix had four times the goodness of the leading energy cereal.

Knowing that no advertising firm would be callous enough to hire an actor to play a young mother my heart was immediately warmed by the fact that she would take time out of her hectic schedule of being covered in various forms of infant related goop and post child bearing related body image concerns to tell us all about the "goodness" of our national breakfast cereal (which makes us better at cricket you know).

However I do object to the use of "four times the goodness". How in the wide world of scienticianality would you quantify goodness? Does the CSIRO have a good-o-meter? Is there some sort of board that assesses goodness? It is far too subjective a term to be used in conjunction with our truth in advertising laws surely and as such I will boycotting Weet Bix (which will bring me into physical peril once my goodness levels plummet - scrap that boycott idea).

All this brings me to the rumours re why KFC is no longer referred to as Kentucky Fried Chicken. The rumour has it, and this is only a rumour [don't sue, don't sue] that they had to remove chicken from the name as what they were selling people could not be classified as chicken (Zinger Burger, Colonel Fillet Burger, not chicken fillet burger, eh? eh? makes you think - rumour, rumour, don't sue). That being the case (or even not being the case) what does KFC actually stand for these days? Here a few suggestions: -

Kan't Fucking Cook

Krap Fucking Commercials

Knot Fucking Chicken

Kan't Fucking Come (up with another word starting with "F")

Kids Fed Calories

Okay, now you try some.